I use to love coloring the playroom maroon, fire
copper, rust, wine, burgundy, scarlet, your harlot….
I was open, and you fed me with a spoon, tasted myself,
never learned my lesson….
I became absent, distracted…i was always the sensitive
one, nothing special about me…
I liked being hidden, but you brought out
another side in me….
I could never follow through in life…ready
to give up, sip the cup…..
No one could teach me, i had to learn by
myself…so i looked in the mirror
In this life i was never really suppose to
enjoy pleasure, even when you were deep
inside me, or when your mouth was soaking
up my pussy, and i finally gave in….it was never
I thought pain would piece me together, and i pretended
it would, smiles that dazzled, kisses that saved me from
Laying in silence as breathing seemed tortured, demeaning,
while you slept, and i wept..this would be the last night….
I was too twisted to ever be loved and no one would
ever understand my laughs, or i could just be high
No sir, and so now, you will be apart of the playroom
forever…in bits and pieces……
*IMAGE TAKE FROM PINTEREST*
Well, another year has almost gone by…it seems like after my birthday which is in October, the holidays are right here whether we are ready or not. Here Thanksgiving is upon us, and here I am feeling so blessed and thankful in my life. I have a wonderful family, friends, church family, have a job, am able to pamper myself when I can, and SO thankful of the many blessings my life has.
It’s like I am acknowledging to a higher power that I have been “stilled” enough to notice the universe and I have been beating to the same pulse, and my life is aligned on the right path, and for that I am giving gratitude.
My life and surroundings is not perfect by all means, as we all know life hands us some tough crap at times, but in in these times of contentment, we truly see the simple things in life as beautiful halos.
The three most thankful things are that my relationship with my grandfather has gotten so much better, someone who I look upon as a father figure, and secondly, my relationship with my sister has been stronger than it has been in years, and we are like best friends, and lastly, a angel has come into my life that has completely changed my life, to help me see that magic is around every corner and that there are many who work behind the scenes so to speak who watch and protect us. I am thankful for my silliness, my depth and just to be plain weird, just being happy with who I am. So, this Thanksgiving, be thankful in the moment, surrounded by love and laughter, and just for a time, let time stand still to see some of that magic….
From me to you, have a blessed
There can be no denial of this anymore
I am all things to all people
An empath that feels your pain
and puts it into word
gives it form…
I am cast aside on the home front
a prophet with no honor in his own land
But my words can reach you
teach you–save you
If even at the cost of myself…
I break for you
I lay my soul before you
Bleed the dying darkness for you
Without a thought for myself
This is the truest love
To bear all
To ease the pains of a stranger
To trade my life for yours
I could give you no greater honor…
These words are true
From the recesses of my spirit
I, like my master before me
Would die that you may live
This life of mystique laden shadow
and masking smiles
Is not for…
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for your love
but my tired sky’s
mysteries have faded…
my dawn no longer
quickens your day
my twilight no longer
kindles your nights…
as daylight’s last breath
it is clear…
is not enough
to restore mystery…
when the desirous heart
yearns to roam
beneath chameleon skies…
Matthew – 2015
© 2015 This Mortal Flesh