Yes, I think there needs to be a change this year…the biggest one
for me is to stay away from negative people, if NOT completely
then take them in sips on my OWN terms. Maybe, this year a
job will come along. I will keep believing in myself, let the
magic that is ME take form, lead me to my fate, and my faith….
I will learn and grow. Maybe, not tell too much of my personal
life to people in my physical life, because NOT a lot of people
I trust…maybe, I need to be more mysterious, make people
wonder;) I will love myself, and know there will be good days,
bad days, and that is just life. I will love those closest to me,
but learn NOT to expect so much, and try NOT to be such a
perfectionist. I will be me….
Last, but not least, I will continue to write with my whole
soul, make people feel, take them out of their comfort
zones, maybe, even turn them on, but I will be true to
who I am when I write, exploring that darker side of me.
So, I thank you my followers for walking in the shadows
with me, trusting me to taking you down mysterious,
sexual, macabre alleys, taking my hand, keeping you safe.
So, as 2014 ends, and 2015 begins, I wish you and yours a
very happy New Year, and I look forward to more amazing
work for those that I follow…..see you next year:)
PS….I promise I will keep taking you on forbidden journeys,
if you dare;)……A
When night comes I astral among graves,
walk barefooted as souls touch between
my toes with summery licks, making me damp….
I float, hoping sleep will catch me, tickle me
close, doze if just for a little while….
Would you be my one on one, I flutter,
eyes become butterflies, just my disguise….
I’ve strolled with blood on my hands as wings
made my escape….
I’ve sung love songs in my head until I was
drenched in homicide, my suicide…..
I’ve wondered your halls while you slept, wept,
downed your tears in a shot to make me numb….
I swirled you in my mouth, got high, before I
spit you out….
Can I partake of your dreams tonight, to dose
our toes, sinking sand in pores?
I indulged your bulge when I said I loved you,
your fictitious little beast….
You wouldn’t have wanted me any other
way, just as twisted as you….
Now, I am awake……
He always said he loved me
He said I was his little girl
But nobody could see
It was HIM that was hurting me
He let his friend touch me
He didn’t help when I cried
When I think of it now
I just wish I had died
Now as I am older
They say one things a must
If you don’t let down your barriers
You’ll never learn to trust
I just want to be loved
But I’m hurt and I am scared
Hurt and scared from all the emotions
And the feelings that I’ve bared
Please don’t let me die here
And leave this world alone
My heart is full of sorrow
And sadness to the bone
The best place to talk to you is on my knees….
Begin in tongues, part veins in scripture, pray in
Head bowed, confessing my sins in sheer
I walk on water until you come apart…….
Sometimes I just want someone, someone to take
me to that place, that place of being uninhibited,
where black and blue dwells, where lust will stain
me for days, maybe weeks…to know you trailed
down my flesh, and anytime I look there, I can travel
Where your mouth met my soul and took me within
you, where I strayed through veins and fed…
Sometimes, I just want to twist my legs around
you, gnarled into your husk, deep, making you
bleed, need me forever….
I fuck your truck, following the beat of
your heart, smiling red…..
We color sunsets in their darkest fantasies,
singing lullabies to nightmares….
I want to ride high on you, through my nose,
holes I created for you to creep in…..
Hands on my throat as I come, tangle
in your fingerprints, embedded, echos
Sometimes, I just want to be a evil spread, buttered
on candy kisses you eat, as you digest me, rocking my
hips as you enter inch by inch…..
My ass wiggles, giggles…..
Sometimes, I want silver to sliver, to watch
death cross over as I cry, deny I was ever there……
Today I had such a blessed day with my family, some profound, touching moments
shared. We all gathered and went to my uncles grave, a place where I feel silly talking
to a headstone when I know he’s not there anymore, his soul long gone. I know he is
within us, in spirit around. My grandmother said it was one of the best days ever because
as a family we all shared this experience together, as one, and that is what Christmas is
all about. Just thought I would share this with my blog friends. This other side of me:)